If they weren't Ninjas
by thebluekirby64
Summary: Did you ever imagine a life where Naruto and all the other dudes weren't ninjas? Come and find out! Includes lots of funny stuff and all good couplings!
1. Introduction

**What if they weren't Ninjas?**

Chapter one-Introduction 

What if they weren't ninjas? A world where ninjas didn't exist? All of the Naruto characters now live in....The City Of Townsville....AND IT'S BEING UNDER ATTACK BY A MEAN MONSTER!!!! Who will stop this monster? It's THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!

Now back to reality....

Ok, all the characters don't live in Konoha, they live in Washington DC in Maryland. And they don't go to the ninja academy; they go to...regular middle school.

Someone bombed a country (no, not 9/11) and killed lots of people. Naruto looked almost exactly like the man...only younger. So everyone believed that Naruto was that guy's son and they all hated him. (hint hint: demon fox: hint hint..)

And as for Sasuke... You see, his whole family was going on a rode trip while Sasuke was at school (now why would they do that?). They rode on one of those London Bus...thingys and Itachi was driving the car. All of a sudden, the car crashed and everyone died besides Itachi. And the funny part is, there was no rocks, trees, buildings, or anything to crash into. Heck, it was all just flat land. So, Sasuke blamed the whole thing on Itachi and wanted revenge on him!

Sakura? Well...she still likes Sasuke. She's in every single one of his classes! Besides Spanish.... Anyways, she has an "Inner Sakura" but it won't come out and attack you.

All the other characters go to the same school. And every one still acts the same! Only, Neji's eyes aren't white anymore. He has black eyes, and so does Hinata. Shino can't talk to bugs, it's just his hobby to collect them, and Kiba still has Akamaru, only, he doesn't carry him to school because pets aren't allowed. Lee...looks exactly the same. He still likes Sakura and everything. Just, he has no clue about combat....

Shikamaru can't do that cool shadow technique any more, and Ino can't take over peoples bodies. Chouji still eats a lot...

Ok, I think I covered everyone now....

Everyone has at least 1 or 2 classes together...besides Neji, Tenten and Rock Lee. They're in the 8th grade...everyone else is in 7th grade. But Neji has all his classes with Tenten (wahoo!!!) and Lee....he has 2 classes with Neji and 2 with Tenten....

As for the teachers... they know nothing about fighting and performing cool jutsus. BUT they teach at the school!!! Kakashi teaches math, Asuma teaches social studies, Kurnai teaches science, Gai teaches Spanish, and stuff...

Hokage? There is none. Instead, there is a president...and he is George W. Bush! Naruto (as you guessed) wants to be just like George W. Bush. Only, in this story, we'll call Bush "Hokage" so no one gets confused.

And everyone wears modern day clothes. Besides Rock Lee...he stays in that freaky jump suit....

Everyone's name is different. Naruto is now Nathan, Sasuke is Sean and Sakura is Sidney. But, we'll just stick to their original names....

Ok...that was the introduction so no one gets confused. BUT..! There's still more to it, and you can figure out what happens by pushing that little purple arrow button right over there .

Have fun!!!

**---end **

ok...that sort of sucked...but I'm not good at writing intros, so just keep reading.... It'll get funny....


	2. The first day of Seventh Grade!

**What if they weren't ninjas?**

**Chapter two— The First day of 7th grade!**

It is August 30, and that's when school starts!!! Everyone is happily getting ready for the very first day of school because school is so fun! We get to sit on our happy seats and happily watch the happy teacher teach the happy lesson! God...what am I talking about? No one likes school...

Anyways, Naruto was sleeping in his bed, peacefully. He was dreaming about Sasuke and how he was gonna beat him up.

"Yeah! I'll teach you not to mess with no pretty girls you son of a –"

RING!!!!

Naruto jumped out of bed!

"AHH!!!" Screamed Naruto, "Everyone hide, Sasuke some how was able to throw fire balls!!! Eh? Oh...It was only a dream....". Naruto pressed the off button to his clock and started to get changed.

Naruto walked out of his apartment and to his bus stop. Then he realized his bus just passed by.

"Hey! Hey!! Stupid bus, wait for me!!" said Naruto as he chased the bus. Everyone on the bus laughed at Naruto as he chased the bus. The bus never stopped for him, so he ended up walking to school.

Naruto was sweating as he walking into the school building. Everyone was supposed to go to their homeroom class to get their schedule. So, here's Naruto's schedule:

First period: Math with Mr. Hatake

Second period: Science with Ms. Yuuhi

Third period: Gym

Fourth period: Social Studies with Mr. Sarutobi

Fifth Period: Band

Sixth Period: Spanish with Mr. Maito

Seventh Period: English with Ms. Mitarashi

So, anyways, Naruto walked to first period. As he walked through the halls, he found Shikamaru.

"Hey Shikamaru! Wassup? Do you have any classes with me?" asked Naruto. He showed Shikamaru is schedule.

"We have first and fourth period together," said Shikamaru with a sigh, "How troublesome..."

"Ok!! That's great, we can go to first period together!" Naruto happily said, patting Shikamaru's back.

"Yeah...whatever"

Naruto and Shikamaru walked to first period. It wasn't much of a walk; they found the class pretty easy. Naruto and Shikamaru could spot lots of people in their first period class. Ino, Chouji, Kiba, Hinata and Shino. Naruto blushed when he saw an empty seat near his crush, Sakura Haruno. But she was sitting next to Sasuke.

"Hello Sakura!" Naruto said as he took a seat next to Sakura.

"What do you want? You don't want my money, do you?" asked Sakura.

"Of course not! I just wanted to sit next to you, that's all!"

Sakura sighed. She hated Naruto so badly. Then she glanced at Sasuke and blushed.

Tick, tock, tick. First period was over in 20 minutes, but the teacher didn't arrive.

"ARGH!!" said Naruto, "Is our teacher trying to torture us?!?!" Naruto pulled on to his hair, impatiently waiting for the teacher.

"Shut up, he'll come...eventually..." said Sakura.

"That's it! I can't take it any more!!" Naruto took out a piece of rope and a bucket (don't ask me where he got them)and ran to the boy's room. He filled the bucket with water and then ran back to the classroom.

"What the hell are you doing Naruto you bastard?!" yelled Sakura.

"Plotting a prank, that's all!"

"Well, I'll be plotting your death if you don't get back to your seat!"

"Gosh Sakura, you sound like the mother I never had!" After Naruto said that, he continued working on his prank.

"Oh! Here he comes!!" said Naruto. He hid next to the door, waiting for the teacher to come in. He held on to the rope, waiting to pull it. A foot stepped in.

"NOW!" yelled Naruto as he pulled the rope. The bucket of water fell on the teacher.

"HA HA!!" laughed Naruto, "That's what you get for keeping us waiting!"

But sadly, that wasn't their teacher. It was the principle about to announce that their teacher was running late. Naruto was in BIG trouble...

But it wasn't all that harsh, all the principle said was:

"YOU HAVE DETENTION FOR A MONTH!!".

Yup. It wasn't that harsh.

And man...to think this is only first period on the first day of school...

So, anyways, the bell rang and Naruto walked to second period. It was science.

The teacher was writing on the chalk board, but Naruto wasn't paying attention. There was a LONG science equation of some sort...how am I supposed to know what it all means?

"And that is the best way to get glue out of a bottle," said Ms. Yuuhi, "Did everyone take notes?" Everyone said yes. Then Ms. Yuuhi looked at her work.

"Whoops, looks like I made a mistake!" She erased the whole entire thing and started all over again. Everyone groaned.

Next was gym. I don't want to get into all the violence that Naruto went through....Social Studies was a pain and so was band. Naruto didn't get what it meant when Mr. Maito said "Olla!" to him in Spanish class. English didn't make sense, and Naruto had to stay in school for detention. Gosh, what a fun day it was for Naruto!

End of chapter two—

Ok... that chapter really sort of sucked too. But the next chapter will be funny, I promise!!! Please RR!! Ciao! And I update every Friday or sooner if I feel like it!!


	3. Teacher!

Pay attention, you might learn something Chapter Two: Teacher!!— 

Naruto woke up once again in the morning; all ready for school! He wasn't very excited. I mean school sucks.

Ok…first period was math, which really sucked for Naruto. He HATED math.

"Geez, that teacher had better not be late again…." Said Shikamaru, leaning on his chair.

"I don't want to get in trouble for setting up the teacher. But if I must, then I will" said Naruto.

Suddenly, a man walked into the room. He wore a bandana of some sort, and a blue cape.

"Thank you! Our teacher is here today!" said Sakura, but she figured out it was a sub. Just like it was everyday.

"I am not your teacher. He is running late. I will be his substitute. I am Mr. Morino (hint: Ibiki Morino. Hint hint)." The man wrote his name on the chalkboard.

"Ok. Today's lesson is on Z tables. Does anyone know what Z tables are?" asked Mr. Morino.

Shino raised his hand. He was the only one who did.

"Yes sir?" asked Mr. Morino.

"Depending on the operational system, a Z table is formed by using a certain amount of elements in a set. It is organized by the operational system in a table, " said Shino.

"Very good" said Mr. Morino, "Now. The operation system for the Z-12 I am about to make is Pi. Does any one know what pi equals?"

The class stood quiet, no one raised their hand. But Shino shot his into the air.

"Teacher, call me!" said Shino.

"Yes sir?" asked Mr. Morino.

"Pi equals three point fourteen," answered Shino, "one, five, nine, two, six, five, four--."

"WE'LL JUST GO WITH 3.14!!!" yelled the teacher, trying not to have Shino continue.

Mr. Morino completed his Z-table and waited for everyone to copy.

"Does any body see a pattern in this table?" asked Mr. Morino.

Once again, Shino raised his hand.

"Does anyone ELSE know the pattern?" asked Mr. Morino. No one answered.

"YES sir?" Mr. Morino called on Shino.

"I was going to mention this Z-table has been done incorrect because I noticed the number that intercepts 12 and 12 is 6. It is wrong, and is supposed to be 10," said Shino.

"THANK YOU sir," said Mr. Morino, quite annoyed, "Does anyone know the pattern to this Z-table?"

Shino was the only one who raised his hand.

"YES?" asked Mr. Morino.

"I wanted to also mention that this Z-table is still incorrect. "Pi" is not an operational system because in order for the table to work, the operational system must be a number in the set, or addition, multiplication, division or subtraction.. 3.14 is not a number in a Z-12 table, unless the numbers are real. But, then again, the z-table would go on forever, therefore making it infinite. As a conclusion, this Z-table would not be an operational system because this Z-table does not include closure."

"THANK YOU AGAIN!!! Sir…" said Mr. Morino, "The operational system will be ADDITION!!! THERE!!! ARE YOU HAPPY?!?!?!"

"I never said I would be happy…." Said Shino.

"Now moving on to the next lesion," said Mr. Morino.

"Teacher!" said Shino.

"We're MOVING on to the next lesion!!!" said Mr. Morino, now extremely annoyed.

"I just wanted to ask to use the bathroom…" said Shino.

"YES!!! You may go…GET OUT!! Uhh…before you leak?"

"Thank you teacher" said Shino as he grabbed a pass and walked out of the room.

"Anyways…. The next lesson will be on PEMDAS. Does anyone know what it stands for?" asked Mr. Morino.

Naruto ACTUALLY raised his hand.

"Yes sir?"

"Please eat my dear aunt sally," said Naruto.

"Err…close enough," said Mr. Morino, "Does anybody ELSE know?"

Shino walked in.

"I do!" said Shino as he walked into the room (god, how fast does he use it?).

"Anybody else?" asked Mr. Morino.

Kiba raised his hand.

"Yes!! Thank you!!" said Mr. Morino. He called on Kiba.

"Please EXCUSE my dear aunt sally. Not eat!" said Kiba.

Mr. Morino sighed.

"Teacher!! Call on me!" said Shino, waving his hand so the teacher would notice.

"Ok…FINE! What does PEMDAS stand for?"

"Parentheses, Exponent, Multiplication, Division, Addition and subtraction," answered Shino.

"Yes, that is correct," said Mr. Morino, "That is the order that you do a problem. Someone BESIDES AFRO BOY (Shino ) give me an example!"

No one answered.

"Anybody? Just give me a problem!" said Mr. Morino. Naruto raised his hand.

"Ok, yes sir?" said Mr. Morino when he called on Naruto.

"Hey yo! Look over there!" said Naruto. Mr. Morino looked and saw nothing.

"Look at what?" asked Mr. Morino. Naruto stuck up his middle finger at the teacher.

"Why you little!!!" yelled the teacher.

"You told me to give you a problem," said Naruto.

"Not THAT kind of problem!!! A math problem!" said Mr. Morino, now furious.

"11?" stated Naruto.

"More complex," said Mr. Morino.

"115?"

"No…. with multiplication and stuff"

"14?"

"More complex. Include addition."

"141?"

"Ok, that'll do." Mr. Morino wrote the equation on the chalk board.

"Does any body know what to do?" asked Mr. Morino.

Shino stuck up his hand. So did a bunch of other people. Mr. Morino sighed in relief that he didn't have to call on "Afro Boy".

"Yes young lady with the yellow hair?" Mr. Morino said choosing Ino.

"41?" asked Ino.

"Wrong!" said Mr. Morino, "Anybody else?" He called on Sakura.

"14?" she asked.

"Yes, we do multiplication first," said Mr. Morino, "According to PEMDAS, you do parenthesis, then exponents, multiplication, division, addition then subtraction."

"I have a question," said Sakura.

"Yes?" asked Mr. Morino

"Well, if we are doing something like 849, which one should we do first?"

"Which ever one comes first," said Mr. Morino.

"Thank you," said Sakura.

"Ok---," started Mr. Morino. But the whole class started chatting. Naruto screamed to be funny, and Mr. Morino got really pissed off. So, he decided to sit quietly until the whole class settled down.

"Shut up Naruto, the teacher is waiting!" said Sakura.

"Shut up Sakura, the teacher is waiting!" said Ino.

"Shut up Ino!"

"You shut up Sakura!"

"I told you first!!"

"Well, I told you second!!"

The teacher impatiently waited for everybody to get quiet. So, he walked over to the door and slammed it as hard as he could. Everyone screamed, and commented on how scared they were. Unfortunately, everyone kept talking.

"Listen up everybody!!! If you all get quite and stay quiet until the bell rings in 5 minutes, you'll all get candy!" said Mr. Morino.

"CANDY!!!!!" everyone screamed.

"Starting…NOW!!" everyone got quite.

"But teacher…you won't be here…" started Shino, but was interrupted by Mr. Morino.

"Ha! You're talking!" said Mr. Morino, in excitement. Everyone growled at Shino.

"Thanks a lot, Shino!" said someone. And that caused a lot more talking. Everyone talking, frustrating Mr. Morino.

"I'll give you guys another chance!" said Mr. Morino. Everybody cheered.

"Starting…NOW!" everybody got quiet once again.

It was silent for about 10 seconds, Mr. Morino really enjoyed this. But, he was bored, I mean, five minutes is an awfully long time.

"I bet you can't take the temptation," started Mr. Morino, "You just want to talk to your friends. Go on, talk, and don't get any candy. Yeah, I bet you want to tell your friend about how evil your boyfriend was today!"

_How did he know?_ Thought Ino.

"I see you biting you lip, you just want to talk. You just can't keep still and stay quiet." Said Mr. Morino. He glanced at Naruto.

"Hello Sir, you are awfully loud. Go on, talk and have everybody get angry at you. I hear you like basketball. But I've seen you play. You suck. My grandmother can play better then you!" Naruto crunched his fist. He took his binder out and ripped out a piece of paper. Then he began writing on it.

"Need help spelling something?" asked Mr. Morino. Naruto's face literally turned red. He wrote on his paper:

"I bet I can play better then you anytime!"

and gave it to Mr. Morino. He took a look at it.

"'I am gay?'" said Mr. Morino. Everybody busted in laughter, Kiba even fell off his seat.

"'I want to marry Orlando Bloom?'" He continued. Everybody's face turned red, minus Shino. They all laughed so hard. Even Naruto's face was red, in anger. He crunched, just wanting to attack Mr. Morino.

"'And I got a A….on my gay test!'" Mr. Morino continued, insulting Naruto.

"WHY YOU!!!!" screamed Naruto.

"Whoops, looks like nobody will be getting candy," said Mr. Morino. The bell rang, everybody was dismissed.

**---end of chapter 3**

ok….please review!! This chapter was funny, right? Right? You like it right? SO REVIEW!!!!!! Please . And the next chapter will come out…soon….so..just wait…and be paitent…because it will be about neji, tenten, lee and the sand siblings.


	4. Scream and Panic

Chapter 4--- Scream and Panic 

For this chapter, we won't start off with Naruto. We'll be going in the 8th grade hallway. The hall way that has "Death" written all over it (well…at least if you're in the seventh or sixth grade). Anyways, it's the beginning of the day. Tenten walked to her locker that she just received today when she went to first period class, which was English.

"1678" she read on the sticky note that had her locker number and combination. She walked over to the locker bay.

"1675, 1676, 1677," muttered Tenten as she walked past the orange lockers, "Here! 1678!" Her locker was in a good place, not to far from first period, or her other classes. Actually, her locker was right next to her first period door. And second period was next door, then third period is right across the hall, and you get the point.

"Ok!" Tenten said, getting ready to open her new locker, "19, 25, 13…"

------Author's note: (no, this is not MY (thebluekirby) locker combination. What locker combination, I don't know you, leave me alone!)

------Back to the story…..

Tenten pulled the trigger and opened her locker.

"Yes! It opened!" she said in delight. Why was she so happy, you ask?

----Flashback

Tenten: Open up, you stupid locker!!! kicks and destroys locker

Teacher: Oh, Hello Tenten! That broken locker shouldn't be much of a problem! You just have to pay 100 bucks!

----end flash back

"You know, you shouldn't say your locker combination out loud," said someone.

Tenten looked to the right and saw Neji.

"_ACK!!!_ She thought _Neji's locker is next to mine!!!"_

She didn't know what to do, so she quickly grabbed her books then did what the title of this chapter says.

"_What was I thinking!_ thought Tenten as she entered her first periods door. She was red all over, _Now he knows I like him!!! I just know it!!!" _ She took a seat somewhere randomly.

"_Just calm down_ she thought _Maybe he doesn't know. I bet he thinks I ran because…I thought I'd be late for first period! Yes! He thought I'd be late for first period because the bell is going to ring! Yes! Brilliant!!"_

Tenten had a nervous look on her face. And then Neji walked into the classroom.

"_ACK!!! He's in my first period class!!" _Thought Tenten, "_Well…no duh…his locker is next to mine…"_. Then she started blushing. Neji walked towards her and took a seat right next to her.

"_ACK!! He's sitting next to me!" _thought Tenten. She blushed even more,_   
What do I do, what do I do!?!? Why did he choose this seat!?!" _ Tenten looked around and saw all the other seats were taken.

"_Damnit, why me!"_

Someone taped her shoulder. Tenten blushed, thinking it was Neji tapping her shoulder. She looked and figured out it was only Rock Lee.

"Hey, wanna go out some time?" he whispered.

"No," she replied.

"…How 'bout now?" he asked.

"…No" she whispered back.

"Now?"

"No"

"Now?"

"No"

"Now?"

"No"

"…..Nooooowww?"

"No"

and this would go on for hours, but the teacher told them to stop.

"Ok class. Today we will be writing a poem about our selves. It'll be a good way to get to know each other," she said, "It doesn't have to rhyme, just as long as it's not too long. And please follow this format"

The teacher wrote the format on the chalkboard, but Tenten didn't pay attention. She only stared at Neji (awww!!).

"Is that clear everyone?" said the teacher. Everybody let out a dull "Yes". Tenten grabbed a sheet of paper and a pencil and started writing her name. Then she glanced at Neji.

"_God, he's so cute when he's writing!_" thought Tenten, "_ACK! Don't even go there! Must concentrate on work! Must not stare at Neji!" _She started writing on her paper, just the first line. Then Neji raised his hand. He was already done with his poem, it was half a page long.

"_Damn, he writes fast!" _thought Tenten, _"Don't think about Neji! Must concentrate on work, must not think about Neji!" _ The teacher walked over to Neji and took his paper. She read it, and seemed to have an interested look on her face.

"Why Neji! This is an excellent poem! The best one I've ever read so far!" she said.

"But I'm the first one to finish…" said Neji.

"Is it ok if I read it out loud?" asked the teacher.

"I don't care…" he replied.

The teacher adjusted her glasses and began to read:

"_I am the sun and the moon_

_I wonder if there is a heaven_

_I hear the birds calling my name _

_I see them lifting me into the sky_

_I wish I could fly on my own_

_I am the sun and the moon_

_I pretend bad things never happen_

_I touch the burning sun_

_I worry if the moon will let me down_

_I cry when the sun has disappeared_

_I am the sun and the moon_

_I understand change can't be possible_

_I say to never give up_

_I dream of singing birds _

_I try to get up if I'm down_

_I hope no one will suffer_

_I am the sun and the moon_"

Everybody clapped, except Tenten. She had to admit, that poem kind of sucked. She raised her hand.

"Teacher! The sun and the moon is not a characteristic!" she said out loud.

"Well, you can compare the sun to being bright…and the moon to being…dark. So Neji is trying to say he is bright and dark," the teacher said.

"_That did NOT make sense…"_Tenten thought. She gave up, she didn't want to argue about a poem that Neji made.

"She's right," said Neji. Tenten immediately blushed. He was standing up for her!!

"I think I might have missed looked the format, I thought I was supposed to write two things that describe myself. I'll do it over." Neji took the paper from the teacher and started erasing. Tenten was blushing like crazy.

"_Maybe he does like me!"_ she thought.

---------at the end of the day.

"_What the crap!"_ Tenten thought, "_Neji is in all of my classes!" _She started walking to towards the road, and stopped when the light turned red.

"Hey, want to go out with me?" said a voice that sounded like Lee.

"NO!" Tenten said when she turned around. Lee was the one who said that, but he was talking to another girl, some pink haired seventh grader.

"You are lame" she said and walked away. Lee's heart was broken. He started walking until he bumped into someone.

"Sorry!!!" Lee cried. The guy he bumped into looked really tough, he had red hair and really weird eyes (hint hint: Gaara.). Lee walked away, until suddenly, the guy pushed Lee into the road. Lee tried to get up.

"You know, he just bumped into you," a girl next to him said, "You didn't have to push him into the road, y'know". She had yellow hair with, strangely, four pony tails (hint hint: Temari, hint hint).

"Don't worry, it's not like he's gonna get run over by a truck," he said. And suddenly, Lee got run over by a truck.

"Or get ramped by an SUV."

Then Lee was ramped by an SUV

"Or stepped on by a bunch of people."

Lee was stepped on by a bunch of people.

"Or get eaten by birds, or get toppled over by a bunch of horses, or beaten by rats! God, this is so fun!" His sister knocked Gaara on the head.

"It's my turn!" she said, "Or get electrocuted by the wires, or get tossed over into the severs, or get poison spilled all over him."

What did Lee do? Please read the title of this chapter to figure out.

And that's how Lee ended up in the hospital, all because of Gaara (and Temari, but Gaara knocked him into the road). No one really felt sorry for him, besides Sakura.

"Oh! This is my entire fault!! If I hadn't called him lame, then he would have paid attention to where he was going," said the pink haired seventh grader who is obviously Sakura. She started crying.

"Sheesh, she doesn't even know this guy," said Tenten.

"They meet just yesterday, and she's crying all over him," said Neji.

"ACK!!! When did you get here?!!" screamed Tenten.

"…I was always here…" said Neji.

"RRRIIIIGGGHHHTTTTT," said Tenten as she steped away from Neji, trying not to get too close. She blushed too, hoping Neji didn't notice and walked out of the hospital

end—

ok…this chapter was really crappy. Gad Damnit, all my chapters are crappy TT Since I'm doing nothing tomorrow, I'll just continue the fan fiction. Please RR!! Ciao!!


	5. Ino vs Sakura

**If they were ninjas**

**Chapter 5— Sakura vs Ino**

Sakura was really in the bad mood today. She walked over to her locker and put in the combination. Sakura noticed Sasuke passing right by her, and she immediately blushed. Sakura pulled the trigger and swung open the door to her locker, and then a bunch of spiders jumped on Sakura's head.

"ARGGGHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!?" screamed Sakura, trying to get the spiders off her hair. They were only toy spiders, which really pissed Sakura off.. She was really furious, and stroked out her messed up hair. That's when she found something in her hair and pulled it out. It was a piece of paper that read:

Love Ino!

"Ino that Bastard!!!!" screamed Sakura. She took one step and found slime all over her shoes.

"Gross!!! I stepped on slime!!!! Only Ino could have done this!!" Said Sakura, hopping on one leg trying to wipe off all the slime. She looked around and found Ino.

"I'll get you Ino you bastard!!" She yelled. Sakura tackled Ino, heading for the neck first. She squeezed Ino's neck, but Ino pulled on Sakura's hair. Sakura let go and kicked Ino's face.

"Hey! A fight!" someone yelled. He went to see it, and so did a bunch of other kids.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" they cheered. And that's exactly what they did.

Ino pushed Sakura away and Sakura jumped on Ino's back and pushed her down. Then started repeatedly punching Ino's face, until a teacher pulled her away.

"Stop this instance!" the teacher said.

And in 5 minutes, Ino and Sakura found themselves in the principal's office.

"Ok, please explain to me what happened!" the principle said. Ino and Sakura started rambling about their own opinions at the same time.

"Ino was the one who set the bugs in my locker!" screamed Sakura

"Well, Sakura was the one who tackled me!" replied Ino

"I wouldn't have done that if you didn't put slime on the floor of my locker!"

"But you were the one who tackled me!"

"Settle down girls!" said the principle, "God, this is so much easier on TV shows….Ok, one at a time. Lets start with Sakura."

"Ok," started Sakura, "Well, I was walking to my locker and I opened up my locker and all of a sudden, all these spiders jumped out of my hair! Ino was the one who put the spiders in!"

"Spiders?" asked the teacher.

"Toy spiders." Said Sakura.

"But how do you know if it was me, how would I know your locker combination?" asked Ino. Sakura stopped there. She turned away, and saw a piece of paper.

"Yes!" Sakura _said_. She took out a piece of paper from her locker.

"Here! Proof!" said Sakura. She handed the piece of paper to the principal.

"Ok," said the principal, "Ino, tell the truth, how did you know Sakura's locker combination?"

"I stole her locker information," said Ino.

"And why did you put these silly things in Sakura's locker?"

"I dunno. We're rivals, we're supposed to do rival stuff to each other."

"Well, do that stuff out of school. You both are now suspended for 1 day.

"WHAT?!" Ino and Sakura screamed.

"You heard me, suspended for 1 day," said the principle.

"But, Ino was—"

"I don't care if Ino started it, you tackled her and Ino fought back. I can't make any acceptations to children who break the rules. Now, I'll be calling your parents to pick you up and bring you home."

This was bad news for Sakura, never in her life was she suspended. Her parents scolded her at on that day. It was horrible.

"That's it!" thought Sakura, "I've got a plan!"

--end

That was really crappy … Ok, I'll continue this soon. It's the shortest chapter you'll ever read in this story, guaranteed! So…yeah…tomorrow I'll get the next chapter in.


	6. Sakura's Revenge

**If they weren't ninjas**

**Chapter 6—Sakura's Revenge**

Ding Dong! Went the door bell. Ino ran to her door and opened it.

"Hey Ino, I wanted to talk to you," said Tenten. You see, Ino and Tenten know each other from orchestra class because the orchestra class contains 7th and 8th graders.

"You see…I like this guy," started Tenten as she sat on Ino's couch.

"Is he Neji?" asked Ino.

"How'd you know?" asked Tenten.

"Because you write his name all over your journal" replied Ino.

"Ok then, I'd like advice."

"On what?"

"Well….getting Neji to go out with me"

"Well! You see, when it comes to true love, the guy must ask the girl out! If a guy truly loves you, he'll ask you out! If he's too shy to ask you, then you shouldn't go with him. If he is too scared to talk to you, then his is afraid of you. So what's the point in liking a guy who's afraid of you?"

"Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks Ino"

"No prob." Ino said. The doorbell rang. Ino got up and ran to the door. And who was there you ask? Sasuke! He was wearing sunglasses, but that didn't make a difference to Ino.

"Sasuke!! My dear Sasuke!" Ino cheered. She jumped into his arms.

"What brings you to my house on this nice day?" she asked.

"I wanted to go out with you," he said. Ino had sparkles in her eyes.

"Yes! Of course I'll go out on a date with you Sasuke dear!!" Ino said excited. Sasuke leaned his forehead agenst hers.

"I'll pick you up at 8," he said and kissed her cheek. Then went off.

Ino zoned out into space and literally fell to the ground.

"Uhh….Ino…?" asked Tenten.

-----------------Meanwhile

"Finally! I'll get my revenge on Ino!" said Sakura.

"So this is all about revenge on Ino?" asked Naruto. Naruto was invited to Sakura's house, along with Kiba.

"This is brilliant! Ino will not suspect a thing!" she cheered. The doorbell rang and Sakura went to get it. It was Sasuke, and he had sunglasses on.

"So! How did it go?" she asked.

"She fell for it," he said.

"Great job Shino! I know you would look just like Sasuke if you just fixed your hair and changed your clothes!"

"Yeah…whatever." Shino turned away.

"There's no point in this," said Shino.

"Aw, common! You like Ino, don't you?" said Sakura, "I mean, you have to write Ino on all your school papers!"

"I do not!" said Shino.

"She's got a point," said Kiba, "s-h-**I-N-O**"

"So what?" asked Shino.

"You like Ino! You always stare her in class!" said Naruto.

"ACK! How did you know?!" asked Shino. Everyone stared at him.

"You really stare at her in class?" asked Sakura

"Well…no…" said Shino. His face turned pink.

"Awww, Shino likes Ino," said Naruto. Shino made a "I am so gonna kill you after this" look on his face.

"Ok guys! Here's the next plan!" started Sakura.

At 8:00----

Sasuke (Shino, but we'll call him Sasuke) walked over to Ino's house and knocked on her door. He had roses. Red roses. The door opened and there was Ino in a long red dress and her hair over done. Too overdone.

"Hello Sasuke dear!" said Ino. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked.

"You'll see," he said. He offered his arm to Ino and she clinged on to it.

Sasuke led Ino into a nice lake. Beautiful flowers everywhere you look surrounded it.

Meanwhile: Sakura, Naruto and Kiba were hiding behind the bushes, watching every move they made.

"Shino wasn't supposed to bring Ino here, he was supposed to take her to the arcade!" whispered Sakura.

"Shush, I think that Shino…really likes Ino and wants to avoid the plan!" said Kiba.

"Shino that bastard!" whispered Sakura.

"Hey Sasuke, why are you wearing sunglasses?" Ino asked Sasuke as they sat together on a bench. She laid her head on his shoulder.

"That bastard Naruto messed up my eyes," he said, "I can't let anyone see them."

"Ok, that's fine," said Ino. She moved her head to his chest and snuggled a little.

"ARGH!!! She's happy!!" whispered Sakura, "This can't be happening!!"

Sasuke put his arm around Ino and tugged her closer (Muwhahahaha!!). He laid his chin on her head as they watched the beautiful moon on the lake.

"Sasuke," Ino whispered. She slowly picked up her head and looked at his face. She moved closer and closed her eyes.

"ACK!!! They're gonna kiss!!" Sakura whisperly screamed," Naruto, do something!!"

"Sasuke…" she whispered, "Please…kiss me." Sasuke brought his head towards Ino's and closed his eyes.

Naruto didn't think and jumped out of the bushes and tackled Sasuke into the bushes right when Ino was about to touch his lips.

"NARUO!?!? What the hell!?!?" Ino screamed.

"Shino!" Naruto whispered, "What the heck are you doing!?"

"Trying to get Ino to kiss me! I don't care if I'm dressed up as Sasuke, I just want to be with her!" Shino said.

"You are avoiding the plan!!" Naruto said.

"I never wanted to be a part of this!" said Shino. He pushed Naruto away and got up, just to see Sasuke was there on the bench!!

"What the--?" asked Shino. Sakura crawled over.

"That's Kiba, I was able to do him quickly," said Sakura.

"Wow, that was really quick," Naruto said.

"Ok Shino. What the hell was that all about!!" said Sakura.

"Just leave me alone," he said and walked away.

Luckily, Kiba didn't like Ino. Or so we think!

"Hey, Ino!" said Sasuke (now Kiba), "I think It kind of to early for our kiss. You know, how usually people kiss at the end of the date. Lets save all that fun stuff for last!"

"Oh, I understand Sasuke!" said Ino. But out of nowhere, she jumped into Sasuke's arms and pressed her lips into his. It wasn't much of a good moment, I mean, Sasuke made a little "My lips are poisoned" look on his face. Ino pulled away. Sasuke wanted to stick his tongue out, but that would ruin the plan.

So, anyways, Sasuke took Ino to the arcade like he was supposed to.

"Um…Sasuke?" Ino asked.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"You do realize we're at the arcade."

"Yeah, this is the best place in the world! C'mon, lets go check things out!" Sasuke pulled Ino's arm and they started playing games together. Ino kissed Sasuke a lot of times, especially when she won games. When Sasuke let Ino play "Star Wars" on her own, he let out a little: OK sign to Sakura and Naruto. And they made the game explode.

There was a little bumper cars thingy at the arcade.

"Ino! Catch me if you can!" Sasuke yelled.

"I'll get you Sasuke!" said Ino as she chased him in her car. Sasuke led Ino into a wall, and she went really, REALLY fast. And then Sasuke turned to quickly that Ino wasn't able to turn and she crashed into a wall. (ha ha!)

At the end of the date----

Ino had a few burses on her face, and that made her look - cough - ugly…

"Ino, promise me one thing," started Sasuke, "That everyday you will kiss me when ever we see each other, even if we are at school."

"Even at school?" asked Ino.

"Yeah, just push me into the closet and kiss me there." Ino nodded and gave Sasuke a short sweet kiss and ran into her house.

Sasuke walked away, cleaning his tongue.

"GAWD!! I cAount be-veve I Hade to kees har!!" Sasuke said as he stuck out his tongue.

"You did good Kiba," said Sakura, "Unlike SOME (cough ,cough: shino) people."

"Heh, at least we got the job done!" said Naruto.

"ACK!!! Where'd you come from!?" screamed Sasuke.

"Wasn't I always here…?" said Naruto.

"Yeah…whatever," said Kiba, "So…do I get anything from this?" And just like that, Sakura ran away.

"SAKURA YOU BASTARD!!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE'D GET MONEY OUT OF THIS!!!" yelled Kiba as he chased after her.

"AND I'D GET FREE RAMEN FOR A WEEK!!" screamed Naruto. He chased after her.

And that's how the revenge of Naruto and Kiba started.

---end

ha ha! Next chapter: Naruto and Kiba get revenge on Sakura! It won't be romance or anything… but! I'd like to thank my sister Kage ) for this brilliant idea! Thanks Kage! And please review!! Thanks!


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